DAVID WILKINS NEEDS TO GET THESE PEOPLE A XANAX

You have to hand it to hockey because, to my knowledge, it is the only sport in the world where fans will riot after their team wins the first series of the playoffs — even though they are still three rounds away from the Stanley Cup. Like last night in Montreal when the Canadiens (the hockey team) beat the Boston Bruins in game seven and the Canadians (the people) showed their joy by looting stores and burning police cars.

A guy who is me was quoted as saying, “Holy crap, those are some hardcore fans.”

Unfortunately, this means that former House Speaker David Wilkins hasn’t been doing his job as ambassadorship to America Jr., which includes checking the country’s homework and making sure its citizens take their medicine before bed time.

I’m guessing what happened was they suckered him into thinking they were just docile, simple folks who enjoy a trouble-free life of socialized health care and maple syrup, the entire time covering their hidden rage.

Another possibility is that all those cheap Canadian pharmaceuticals I keep reading about in my email’s junk folder are highly diluted.

We’ll probably never know.

But if I were Wilkins, I would act fast so it doesn’t happen again if, God forbid, the Montreal Alouettes win whatever it is Canadian Football League teams win or the Montreal Expos win readmission to Major League Baseball.

It’s been about two months since we’ve had a video of the day. Why? I don’t know. Don’t ask such stupid questions.

And speaking of stupid questions, here’s a painful clip of former American Idol contestant and current country music star Kellie Pickler doing her best Miss Teen South Carolina impression… only it’s not an impersonation, it’s the real deal.

Two words: CHILD PRODIGY:

It’s been a while since we’ve had a TPS video of the day and these new “The Real Scoop” Geico commercials are too hilarious not to post. So, here’s a three-for to get you through the evening:

BEN WINKLER

JED CLAMPETT

FRED FLINTSTONE

While it was a BUSY week, it’s been an incredibly light Friday. So, in honor of the first-ever USC v. South Carolina State game tomorrow, here’s today’s TPS video of the day.

Today marks the 30th anniversary of Elvis’ passing and fans around the world are celebrating the most popular musician of all time. So today’s video of the day is an ode to the King because, after all, Elvis is everywhere.

Today’s video is actually kind of scary and sad, but has a bit of humor. In this short clip making its way around the Web, a Russian lady feeds her cats… ALL 130 OF THEM! And that’s flippin’ creepy!

There are few things in this world worse than a house cat. The only thing we dislike more than cats is the musical CATS. We won’t even eat Chinese food because we don’t want anything to do with the nasty little domesticated felines.

Little explanation is needed for today’s TPS video of the day, unless of course you’ve never seen Dateline NBC’s hidden camera show “To Catch a Predator.” Assuming you have, prepare to laugh hysterically at a clip from last night’s Conan O’Brien show called “To Catch a Cold”:

This isn’t the first time that Conan has poked fun of Chris Hansen. Go below the jump for a couple of bonus clips. (continues…)