THIEF TICKETED RIDING ANIMAL DOWN MAIN STREET

The 553 people who live in Six Mile can tell you there isn’t a whole lot to do there, especially if you’re not a local.

According to my Google image search, the town basically consists of the fancy Upstate Food Co-Op and the ritzy Summit Inn.

So what is your average, bored Six Mile “tourist” supposed to do for a little fun?

My suggestion would be to get drunk, steal a horse, ride it down the middle of main street, then tie it up at a filling station.

Well, how ’bout that…

A 40-year-old Pickens woman has been issued a ticket for public disorderly conduct after police said she rode a stolen horse down Main Street in Six Mile, according to a Pickens County Sheriff’s Office incident report.

The report said that a pedestrian flagged downd the responding officer Saturday and told him that a woman “was riding the horse on the double yellow line” on State 133 and “was barely able to stay on.”

According to the report, the officer saw a large tan horse tied to a park bench at the gas pumps of a convenience store and found the woman trying to use a phone inside the store.

The woman’s speech was slurred, she had an aroma of alcoholic beverage and she was unsteady on her feet, the report said. It said the woman said she was riding the horse to her boyfriend’s house.

When asked why she was riding the horse down the middle of Main Street the woman stated “that she wasn’t drunk, the horse was,” the report said, but the woman then went on to say she had consumed a six-pack of beer before leaving the house on horseback. [Greenville News]

That might be the greatest excuse of all time… “I wasn’t drunk, the horse was.” And, best of all, the deputy apparently bought it.

I think if you ever go Barney Giese and get pulled over for a DUI, your excuse should be, “I’m not drunk, my car is.”

But the most shocking thing about this story is that it didn’t happen in Anderson. Surely something like this could only happen in the home of gas station weddings, road rage fines, ghosts, and killer teens driven by the taste of blood.