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STAY AWAKE, NOT SOBER FOR SANFORD’S BORING SPEECH
Tonight, Gov. Mark Sanford will give his seventh State of the State Address before members of the South Carolina General Assembly, the State Supreme Court, members of the cabinet and Constitutional officers and the people of South Carolina.
The speech will be broadcast on ETV at 7 p.m. from the Statehouse and at that time I will be off doing absolutely anything but watching ETV because listening to Gov. Mark Sanford talk for an hour is comparable to jamming a fork into your foot.
But if you’re the type that lives for such pain, then you might as well have a few drinks to dull the sensation. Therefore, I have put together a not-so-cliched State of the State drinking game (with a little help from my friends) so that you can get drunk with the guv. Those of you who are actually attending the event should bring a flask.
Here’s the game…
HOW TO PLAY:
Just grab a case or ten of Palmetto Pale Ale, a few bottles of Charleston’s Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka, a few other sundry items, and your liver. Then just tune in and do follow along as Sanford uses the below words or phrases
Sip of Palmetto Pale Ale:
South Carolina
school choice
transparency
spending
spending cap
on the record
roll call
reformer
taxes
taxpayer
wallet
reform
fiscally conservative
liberty
restructuring
spending
Two sips of Palmetto Pale Ale:
Jenny and the boys
SCRG
accountability
grow government
rainy day
wake up call
underlying economy
hold water
compliance
personal freedom
targeted
audit
applaud
deficits
Chug a Palmetto Pale Ale:
Give some credit…
This notion
Thomas Friedman
flat tax
One time money
Shot of Firefly:
Give real credit…
awfully proud
outright disdain
shellacking
touch choices
Barack Obama
soil conditions
Make your voice heard
Keg Stand:
Give particular credit…
invisible mortgage for every taxpayer
Tim Scott
Joey Millwood
RINO
Tom Davis
Wolf Blitzer
Milton Friedman
Libertarian
Pitcher of Moonshine:
Biblical notion
John Deere/any tractor
any farm animal
the farm
Robbing Peter to pay Paul
Good ol boys
Hit off the Crack Pipe:
Adam Fogle
taking the log out of your own eye
time in the wilderness
Boy Scouts
John Maynard Keynes
Coosaw Plantation
Jump off the Ravenel Bridge:
Howard Rich
Moses
Jesus
I look forward to working with Jakie Knotts
I paid Will Folks
My friend Tumpy Campbell
good stuff
hm, do I have time to pick up supplies?
Hey Adam, I would like to add to your game—and finally—drum roll—have a total castration immediately after having major hemorrhoid surgery if—he mentions anything to do with requesting what is taking The Legislative Audit Council so long to do their audit of Corrections and exactly how many times that Ozmint and Corrections has been sued (and lost) on the tax payers dime!
Ooo-eee. That is some good stuff there, Fogle.
It’s too far to Ravenel Bridge…but in Lexington County we could do symbolic shows of support from Jakie Knotts Bridge.
I only commit to “supervise” — judging on form and spirit — not participate this time.
Best post ever.
Quit now while you’re ahead.
OK. I didn’t hear it…and there will be NO JUMPING OFF JAKIE KNOTTS BRIDGE. They say they don’t have the manpower or the money to save and fix your a55 if you hit a rough spot.
DON’T TRY IT.
Boy if you had a shot for the words Nikki and Nathan….you’d be drunk!
Thank God “change” and “Yes we can” weren’t on the list. No one would have survived.
[...] if you’re interested, The Palmetto Scoop created a drinking game for last year’s State of the State. Most of the same stuff still applies, just add in any and [...]