AT LEAST, I THINK THAT’S WHAT THIS IS

There was this one time when I was probably five years old that my family thought it would be fun to round up all the kids — including the long-lost cousins that appeared once per decade — and put us in a room to say “Merry Christmas” while recording us with the JVC camcorder that Clark Griswold used in “European Vacation” for all the relatives who lived far away.

I think every family has tried this at one point. So you can probably relate to what a miserable failure it turns out to be as none of the dozen or so rugrats can synchronize the lines well enough to form anything but an incoherent chorus of inaudible “blah, blah, blah.” And naturally the kids who don’t start punching each other just sit there and pick their nose.

But if you can’t dig this wonderful memory out from the lobotomized recesses of your brain, the good folks at SC.gov have decided to recreate it, only with adults instead of kids.

The 34-second e-Card begins with some shots of Christmas stuff from around Columbia — even the Charlie Brown Christmas tree — set to Christmas music before transitioning to a bunch of people mumbling something about Festivus and “The Holidays” (they’re state employees, ergo, use of the word “Christmas” is illegal).

I’m not really sure what they’re saying, but I’m guessing it cost taxpayers a fortune. Because, like everything state government does, it was likely woefully over-budget.