BLUFFTON BOY HAS FINGER CHOPPED OFF DY DOOR

Common sense would tell most people that getting anything slammed in the door of a locker would probably hurt like hell, but I didn’t think it could take off a damn finger. Apparently, for the first time in my life, I was wrong.

A 13-year-old student who had his finger severed by a locker door Monday at a Bluffton middle school.

Police Chief David McAllister said two 13-year-old boys were at their lockers at school dismissal time around 3:30 p.m. when the door slammed on one of the boy’s right index finger.

The school resource officer retrieved the finger, and it was put on ice.

The boy was taken by ambulance, along with the finger, to Memorial Health University Medical Center in Savannah, where he was set to undergo surgery to reattach the finger, McAllister said.

McAllister was not certain how the incident occurred, whether it was an accident or intentional. An investigation is under way. [Hilton Head Island Packet]

There are really only two ways I can see someone having their finger severed by a locker. Either the person who slammed the door did it repeatedly without the boy moving his hand, or the edges of that locker were made out of Cutco knives.

As for the “investigation,” it should be pretty easy. Go to the boy who had his finger chopped off and say, “how did you get your finger chopped off?” I’m no Sherlock Holmes, but I’m pretty confident that’s the way to crack this case.

Will the Bluffton Police Department be able to do it though? Or will they need to bring in Horatio Caine? Stay tuned to TPS as the riveting mystery of the locker finger severing unfolds…