OFFICE LINEBACKER RETURNS TO ‘GIVE OUT THE PAIN’ TO NON-VOTERS

I’ve never quite been able to fully understand why so many Americans won’t bother to take the time once every two or four years to go vote for their leaders. Not that I’m complaining — if they are too lazy to take 15 minutes and go pull a lever or touch a button then they are likely too stupid to know anything about who or what they’re voting for.

But if I had to venture a guess as to why turnout is so habitually low, I think I would place much of the blame on annoying Hollywood-driven get out the vote campaigns. Especially since almost all of them have an overtly partisan liberal agenda.

Stuff like “Choose or Lose,” “Vote or Die,” and that dreadful new “Five Friends” video are all more likely to piss potential voters off than encourage them to go to the polls.

The video above, however, might be the exception. Few advertisements have offered the kind of persuasion embodied by the threat of office linebacker “Terrible” Terry Tate storming at you from off screen to deliver a bone-crunching spear tackle.

Anyway, go vote on Tues., Nov. 4 or Terry Tate will get your ass.