SMARTLY GET OUT YE PIRATE DICTIONARY YE SCURVY DOG

Ahoy, all ye salty Sea-Dogs! Just 29 days ago I wrote about International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and it’s harrrrrrd to believe it be today.

Today is a day to let yer inner Buccaneer run loose. That includes not only talking like a Pirate, but also grabbing a beauty, hoisting the Jolly Roger on yer Man-O-War, and heading to the local watering hole to get loaded to the gunwalls (but if ye has too much grog, find a sober Cockswain to sail ye home or else straight to Davy Jones’ Locker ye goes).

Bonus points for scuttling and pillaging any Son of a Biscuit Eating scallywags who give ye the ole honrswoggle.

Now, if ye don’t have enough pieces of eight to buy ye a beauty, try one of these great pickup lines, courtesy of Cap’n Slappy and Ol’ Chumbucket:

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I’d love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How’d you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don’t work, as they often won’t)

They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.

You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?

Wanna shiver me timbers?

I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.

Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.

That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Let’s get together and haul some keel.

That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.

Yarr, tis a great day. Now go man the rigging and prepare to overhaul!