MTV BRINGS BRITISH MORON OUT OF NOWHERE NO TRASH GOP

I haven’t watched the MTV Video Music Awards in probably 10 years because producers of the annual trash-fest somehow find a way to make it worse every year. The fact that some complete loser that nobody has ever heard of hosted the show last night is a testament to the fact that I’m once again right.

Apparently this guy is an comedian or something from England — which explains why he’s about as funny as a car door slamming on your hand — who looks like the demon spawn of Pantera and Madonna on a whole lot of acid. I don’t know his name and I don’t care to look it up.

But not only am I told this guy was boring (again, didn’t watch), but he also opened the show with an entire monologue devoted to trashing vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin’s pregnant teen daughter, calling President Bush “retarded,” and encouraging Americans to vote for Democrat Barack Obama.

Here’s the transcript (clip above, begins at 2:00 mark):

Now, as a representative of the global community and a visitor from abroad, I don’t want to come across a little bit biased, but could I please ask of you people of America, to PLEASE ELECT BARACK OBAMA. Please! On behalf of the world. (Camera pans to singers Chris Brown and Britney Spears applauding and cheering.) Some people, I think they’re called racists, say that America is not ready for a black president. But I know America to be a forward-thinking country, right. Because, otherwise, you know, would you have let that retarded cowboy fellow be president for eight years?

We were very impressed. It was nice of you to let him have a go. Because in England, George Bush wouldn’t be trusted with a pair of scissors.

I am obliged by broadcasting law to show some balance in this situation, which means, uh, the Republicans might be alright. Sarah Palin. She’s a VILF! A vice president I’d like to…fumble, fondle, I dunno. I do feel a little bit sorry for her daughter, getting pregnant, poor kid. Is it a boy? Is it a girl? It’s a P.R. stunt. Come on. Be honest.

And I feel most sorry for that poor teenaged father. Boy. One minute, he’s just a teenaged lad in Alaska having joyful, unprotected sex. And the next minute: Get to the Republican convention. I think that is the best safe sex message of all time. Use a condom or become Republican! …That boy will spend the rest of his life masturbating while wearing a condom…

This classy little premeditated tirade shows the fundamental difference between Obama supporters and those who back Republican John McCain. When you have surrogates like this fella running around on national television, in front of dozens of people, encouraging people to support you and you do not denounce it, then you by default embrace it.

And can you imagine if conservatives like Dennis Hopper or Chuck Norris — who, unlike MTV’s paid personal trash throwing goon are actually citizens of this country — got up and said similar things about Obama? It would be front page news across the globe.

MTV should be ashamed, Viacom should be ashamed, Obama and his crowd should be ashamed, and the voters of America should take notice.