STATE GOVERNMENT 2.0, COLONIAL CENTER 2.0, PALMETTO TREE 1.DEATH, APPLE STORE 0.SUCKS

It’s finally Friday and we’re all free again, or at least that’s how the song goes. So here are a few stories to sober you up from happy hour so you have a fresh start for the rest of the weekend:

• STATE GOVERNMENT IMPROVES WEBSITE, STILL NO WORD ON IMPROVING STATE GOVERNMENT — The State Budget and Control Board announced Thursday that SC.gov, the official state Web site for South Carolina, was given some “Web 2.0 enhancements.” They added added Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter “to engage more of the state’s citizens using social-networking sites,” a new Help Section that lets users view video and listen to audio clips, Google maps for directions to the state’s cabinet agencies, and links to Virtual Earth that show an aerial view of the state buildings. All of this means that it only took the BCB eight and a half years to enter the new millennium. Somebody will have to check, but I believe that’s a record for them.

• THE COLONIAL CENTER LIFE ARENA — The University of South Carolina’s Board of Trustees has approved a plan to rename the Colonial Center the Colonial Life Arena. The request came after the company that sponsors the arena launched a “rebranding effort and this name change is consistent with that initiative.” No idea on when the name change will happen and how much it will cost, but sources are telling me that it doesn’t really matter because the Gamecocks basketball team will probably have another losing season in which case no one will care about this anyway.

• PALMETTO TREES IN TROUBLE — Our state symbol and this blog’s namesake the Palmetto tree is being killed off by an unknown disease near Tampa, Fla., according to TheDigitel. The infection hasn’t spread far from the gulf coast area, but researchers and citizens are “concerned it could not only kill off the tree in Florida, but possibly work its way up to South Carolina.” But I’m pretty sure that if our state’s Palmettos can stand up to cannon fire at Fort Sumter, they can withstand some puny little disease.

• APPLE DECLARES WAR ON SC — The first Apple Store in the state will open tomorrow in Charleston, leaving many wondering what the hell we did to deserve this. You see, I never really had it out for the computer giant until those stupid commercials began annoying the crap out of me every time I tried to watch television. Then it seemed like Apple was everywhere, and with it the elitist artsy snobs that think they’re better than the rest of the world because they’re “a Mac user.” And to shore up my contempt, they went and created the iPhone which quickly became the most over-hyped piece of junk ever released. On the down side, Apple is like a disease that has taken hold in our state, but on the up side, at least you can use it as a boat anchor.