CHARLESTON FIRM FEELS GUV NEEDS PROPER ‘AGE MANAGEMENT’

It’s funny to joke sometimes that Gov. Mark Sanford has a few “mental recessions” every so often when he makes an inept political move here or there. But, at only 48 years old, you would be hard pressed to blame those flubs on Sanford’s age.

Unless, of course, you were trying to make an interesting pitch for your company. Which is exactly what Charleston-based Cenegenics is attempting to achieve.

When I first got their press release this afternoon claiming Sanford’s now-infamous brain freeze on CNN was due to “unbalanced hormones and a lack of sleep” resulting in “improper age management,” I thought it was some kind of joke. But according to age management expert Dr. Mickey Barber, this is no laughing matter.

“So many men have hormones that are out of whack, which can have huge impacts on your life, especially for a politician who is expected to be on his toes 24/7,” says Barber. “I’ve noticed Governor Sanford has aged significantly while in office, and that’s one sign that his health is not as good as it should be.”

If this is true, I guess it would explain why Sanford forgot to bring ID when he tried to vote in 2006 .

“Jenny, have you seen my license?”

“No dear. Check your denture case.”

“I already did. Maybe I left it in the Metamucil box.”

Anyway, I’ve already sent the good doctor my low, low payment of $19.95 for his magic water that will let me live to 273. I know I’m still in my 20’s, but you gotta start while you’re young.

And since I purchased today at this low, low price, they even through in a free George Foreman grill.