THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES, Y’ALL CERTAINLY DID IT YOUR WAY

I know TPS has been a little “dead” lately as I’ve been flooded with real work, but fear not, we are alive and well. Unfortunately, it appears the same cannot be said of my colleagues at Shot Politics (formerly A Daily Shot, A Daily Chaser and an assortment of other names).

Today the South Carolina blogosphere was kind of shocked with the news that they would be closing down the site and moving on to whatever it is they’ll be moving on to.

SCHotline noted they are “gone but not forgotten.” And isn’t that so very true?

After the Phoney Fred incident and the use of the Internet to coordinate with third parties — among other things — it will be a long time before anyone in this state forgets the last contributions of the First Tuesdays Strategies Web crew.

So I memorialized them with the above video. After all, it’s the least I can do for giving me so much material to work with.

To the guys at Shot Politics: it’s been real, it’s been fun, but it sure as hell ain’t been real fun.

NO, NOT REALLY… BUT HE SURE WOULD FIT IN

I usually wouldn’t pay attention to a site with the word “dandelion” in it, but luckily the headline “Karl Rove to head Bob Jones University Polysci Dept” was bold enough to pique my interest.

Thankfully, it only turned out to be a mildly humorous parody of the fact that Rove and BJU are generally committed to the same thing: turning people into uptight zealots through fear and repression. Sure one deals with politics and one with religion, but just imagine if their powers combined.

Which is exactly what the Dandelion Salad did with their post claiming that BJU President Dr. Steven Jones named Rove — who according to the above video likes to collect stamps, impersonate Kevin Federline and tear the tops off small animals — the chairman of the school’s political science department.

“We knew we need to round out our programs here at the University to include more than just Creationism, anti-gay crusading and history of the Confederacy, “Jones said, “so who better to shape a bold new political science curriculum than the man who practically invented politics, the honorable Karl Rove.”

“After dodging all those subpoenas and vicious attacks from the vast left wing conspiracy,” Rove said, “this new position will be welcome. Kids these days are more interested in voting for their fave on American Idol than stealing votes in national elections. I hope to be able to bring the traditional values of the Republican party back to the classroom, you know, lying, cheating, character assassination, and my favorite, abuse of power.”

I’m not going to lie, there’s really no story here. I just thought this was a good excuse to rehash that embarrassing video of Turd Blossom in all his wannabe Lee Atwater glory. And I would consider myself a failure if I missed a chance to take a pot-shot at the wacked-out BJU establishment.

Not that Rove would have a chance at making it at the school. In that video alone he breaks pretty much every rule in the school’s handbook by lying about his name, being within 25 feet of a female AND a minority, not listing “quoting Bible verses at sinners for 23 hours a day” as one of his hobbies, laughing, listening to music, and enjoying himself too much.

In fact, a BJU insider says God told him this morning that Rove has already been banished to Hell without the possibility of salvation. And trust me, these guys are on a first-name basis with Jesus Himself… they know these kinds of things.

TENENBAUM LAUNCHES GUBERNATORIAL CAMPAIGN ON FACEBOOK

Like her state schools superintendent replacement, Democrat Inez Tenenbaum may be using the Internet to launch her 2010 campaign for governor. But unlike Jim Rex, who took office as South Carolina’s top educrat two years ago, Tenenbaum is being a bit more direct about her intentions.

A candidate page on the popular social networking site Facebook has recently appeared for Tenenbaum. And under the “Currently Running For” field, the page lists “Governor.”

The Palmetto Scoop has been unable to confirm its authenticity.

Tenenbaum currently has 102 supporters, including Columbia Mayor Bob Coble, City Councilwoman Tameika Isaac Devine and House District 79 candidate Anton Gunn.

If this group proves to be legitimate, it would be the first formal announcement of Tenenbaum’s intention to run for the Democratic nomination. As such, it could also trigger the requirement for her to file as a candidate with the state ethics commission. Failure to do so might put her in a similar position as her inter-party rival.

In April, Rex similarly used the Web to test the waters for his presumptive 2010 bid by launching GoodbyeMinimallyAdequate.com. Rex caught a good deal of flak when TPS noted that it was “nothing more than an exploratory Website” funded completely by a 501(c)(3) “tax deductible” charity — which would be a clear violation of state ethics laws.

But we weren’t the only ones giving Rex a hard time. Tenenbaum herself had a run-in with her successor at the state Democrat Party convention last month.

Along with her husband Sam and former Democrat Party Chairman Dick Harpootlian, Tenenbaum actively worked to block Rex’s nomination as a delegate to the national convention in Denver this summer.

STATE PARTY PUTS WARREN MOWRY IN CHARGE OF WINNING GENERAL ELECTIONS

Being a politically polarized state, many of South Carolina’s elections are determined during the primaries. This year’s slate is no different as a number of candidates on both sides face little or no opposition in November.

But for Republican candidates who do find themselves in a general election dog fight, the state GOP is ready to go to bat.

With nearly $2 million in the bank, SCGOP Chairman Katon Dawson and company have all the resources necessary to help elect Republicans. Democrats, however, come up more than $1 million short of that mark.

And on Wednesday, Dawson announced that Warren Mowry would be serving as Executive Director of Victory 2008, the SCGOP’s coordinated effort to elect Republicans to local, state and federal office.

“We are extremely excited to welcome Warren Mowry to our team,” said Dawson. “He is an experienced political hand, and his expertise will be invaluable as we work hard to elect Republicans up and down the ballot in South Carolina.”

Mowry was Upstate Field Representative for Lindsey Graham’s successful 2002 campaign for U.S. Senate. He also served as Chairman of the Greenville County Republican Party from 1999-2001. A graduate of University of South Carolina School of Law, Mowry was a prosecutor for South Carolina’s 13th judicial circuit from 1982-1994.

All of this likely means that, despite Democratic gloating to the contrary, Republicans will still hold both U.S. Senate seats, four of six U.S. House of Representatives districts, and majorities in both houses in the state legislature after November.

ADVERSARIAL ENDORSEMENTS SPAWN POSTMORTEM WAR OF WORDS BETWEEN TWO TOP REPUBLICANS

A source very close to both Sen. Jim DeMint and Gov. Mark Sanford has told me that the two elected officials engaged in a “heated discussion” over the phone Wednesday regarding rivaling endorsements in the State Senate District 12 race.

Sanford threw his support behind Lee Bright, while DeMint backed Scott Talley. Bright won the race by 198 votes, but that didn’t stop Sanford from speaking his mind to DeMint.

According to the source, Sanford told DeMint to “stay in Washington” and noted his disagreement with the senator’s choice of candidate.

The source paraphrased the governor as saying that DeMint was a federal office holder and that his knowledge of South Carolina politics was represented by the fact that he chose Talley, who according to Sanford was the worst possible choice for real reform in state government.

In plain English, Columbia isn’t big enough for both of their egos.

Something else Columbia isn’t big enough for: Talley’s insatiable thirst for legislative receptions. Thankfully, he’ll be home in Spartanburg for a while.

VIDEO EVIDENCE THAT PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHERS ARE PUTTING TAX DOLLARS TO GOOD USE… BY DOING THE “A TOOTY-TA” DANCE

When your public education system sucks and you’re pumping millions of taxpayer money into creating a 40-something-percent high school graduation rate that offers students the same skills taught to peasant children in Medieval Europe, there’s only one obvious solution: the A tooty-ta dance.

In the clip above, which was hilariously passed my way courtesy of The Voice for School Choice blog, a room full of “educators” go through the rigorous training necessary to successfully teach South Carolina’s youth mathematics. That preparation includes a four-foot-tall munchkin on Adderall leading a “dance” where teachers slowly swing their arms, shake their hips and speak in tongues. According to my research, this is the only “dance” ever invented by mankind that is more painfully embarrassing than the funky chicken.

Oh, and it also has absolutely nothing to do with math:

The next time you start to feel sorry for a public school district complaining that they need more money, watch this video.

Perhaps seeing self-respecting adults jive around and chant nonsense words in the name of “participatory education” will clear your head. If this is how South Carolina trains teachers, it should be no wonder that fifty percent of public school students drop out before graduating.

This embarrassing display of self indulgent educrat failure is part of Beaufort County School District’s push to introduce corporately developed “Everyday Mathematics” to students in the district. According to “Everyday Math” proponents, students can learn math through fun patterns, “active” learning, and a process called “spiraling,” in which students study a concept for a few days and then come back to it later.

To be fair, a source close to this story told me that following the A tooty-ta dance, the teachers were so inspired that they all took out calculators and tried to figure out the memory recall feature. Unfortunately, lunch arrived a few hours later before they could complete the lesson, but it was a pretty big step for our state.

However, according to the School Choice blog, the “everyday math” program is so bad that it was banned in California. Yes, BANNED. In Cali-freaking-fornia. I think that’s a sign, people.

Also a sign: the fact that there was only one guy in a room full of women. What’s up with that?

Seriously, it takes a lot of devotion to throw your entire masculinity on the floor like that and allow some Napoleon complex-driven bag of creepy peppiness trample all over it. Most men would either run or, if that didn’t work, begin throwing punches. I’m guessing he’s from California and has moved here to practice his deep love of taxpayer-funded A tooty-tas.

SC AG SIGNED AMICUS BRIEF TO SCOTUS RE: DC GUN BAN

The U.S. Supreme Court’s substantial 5-4 decision today that the District of Columbia’s 32-year-old ban on handguns is a violation of the rights granted by the Second Amendment was a major victory for South Carolina and Attorney General Henry McMaster, who signed an amicus brief in February.

“A strong Second Amendment is essential to our freedom,” McMaster said. “It is comforting that our highest court reaffirmed that right so clearly today.”

McMaster joined with 30 other attorneys general from around the country in the brief submitted to the United States Supreme Court in the matter of the District of Columbia v. Dick Anthony Heller.

The brief, submitted in February, urged the Court to affirm the judgment of the court of appeals, that held the gun ban violated Heller’s right under the U.S. Constitution to own a handgun or firearm for private use in his home.

This ruling marks the first time in American history that the nation’s highest court has ruled on the Second Amendment.

And the ruling will likely play into this year’s presidential election, noted State GOP Chairman Katon Dawson.

“[W]e know John McCain will appoint strict constructionist judges like those who declared today that law-abiding Americans have a constitutional right to keep and bear arms,” said Dawson. “Barack Obama has fought for strict gun control for years. As president he would not only have liberal anti-gun allies rubber stamping his legislation on Capitol Hill, he would also have the power to appoint activist anti-gun judges who would expand the role of the courts and impose their personal political will on democratically-elected legislative bodies.”

Congressman Joe Wilson called the decision, “a strong example of the need to support the appointment of jurists who will stand up for the principles of freedom our forefathers enumerated in the Constitution.”

Wilson noted the decrease in violent crimes in South Carolina following the passage of a concealed weapons law and said, “Now that the residents of Washington, D.C. have their constitutional rights restored, families can once again protect themselves and their property.”

I HOPE YOU THINK THROWING FANS OUT OF HIS OWN CONCERT

If you didn’t get the headline and subheadline, then you aren’t listening to enough Taylor Swift and subsequently, you are a sad human being.

Anyway, FoxNews has video of country superstar Tim McGraw helping security toss out an “unruly fan” at a concert in Washington State Tuesday. In the fan-shot video, McGraw and a security guard reach into the crowd and pull up a member of the audience who was reportedly so manly, he began fighting a girl.

McGraw shouts “Get rid of this guy,” summons security and helps arriving crew members haul him onstage. When the heavyset fan moves toward McGraw, the singer threatens him with a cocked fist as he’s hauled away.

The band’s performance of “Indian Outlaw” never stopped. And as if on cue, McGraw steps to the mic and picks up with the line “I ain’t lookin’ for trouble … .”

A statement from McGraw’s representative says he witnessed the man rush up and attack a female, and he intervened when security couldn’t respond quickly enough. [AP]

Before you ask, this really has nothing to do with South Carolina, but it has everything to do with awesomeness. And I’m fine with that. Are you?