THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GOING ON TODAY… AT ALL…

When I think of it, I’m not sure I’ve ever watched one thing that Jessica Biel has ever done. I remember she was on that obnoxious WB show about the perfect little squeaky-clean upper-middle class suburbanite family and then she was in a slew of big screen bombs. But I would have to go to IMDB to actually name anything specific, and I really don’t have the energy right now.

Anyway, what I’m getting at is news that she’s coming to South Carolina for some reason to do some thing that I really don’t care about. I would elaborate, but the other blogs are all over it like a chihuahua on its owner’s leg.

Producers wanted to film the upcoming Jake Gyllenhaal political satire, “Nailed,” at a site that looks like the nation’s Capitol.

The S.C. State House earned the part. [...]

“Nailed,” which also stars Jessica Biel, should begin filming in mid-April in Columbia and Lexington, Keeter said. Besides shooting scenes around the State House, the directors want to film in a bar, a diner and a house belonging to Biel’s character.

In “Nailed,” Biel plays an uninsured, small-town receptionist who becomes sex-crazed after a maintenance worker shoots a nail into her head accidentally, according to published reports. She goes to Washington to fight for the rights of “bizarrely injured” people where she meets an immoral congressman, played by Gyllenhaal, who takes advantage of her sex drive. [The State]

I could be wrong, but it looks like we were chosen to play a starring role in a really crappy, unoriginal Hollywood recycling project “written” by Al Gore’s daughter that nobody will ever watch. Awesome. I’m glad to see our newly revamped film industry is doing something.

Of course, Jessica Biel will be here and she’s famous, rich and hot. Which are all great things. But a trip to pretty much any location within five miles of the University of South Carolina campus will net you a similarly nice crop of ladies who meet, at worst, the latter two criteria.

I seriously wish something interesting would happen around here because I’m sick of writing about this stupid stuff.