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MEGATRON, DECEPTICONS TOP LIST
CYBER CITY, CYBERTRON (TPS) - Less than a week after news broke that Gov. Mark “I’m not perfect” Sanford funneled $101,524 in taxpayer dollars to one of his many secretive “reform groups” which aim to take down rival members of the state legislature, The Palmetto Scoop has obtained exclusive access to the much-speculated “hit list”; which until now has never been revealed to the public. And we must admit, there are quite a few surprises on what Sanford — who said he now goes by the name “Optimus Prime” — describes as his “2007-08 Trans-reformer Robots In Disguise More Than Meets the Eye Attack List.”
Like most people waiting to see the list, TPS expected to see the likes of Sens. Hugh Leatherman, Jake Knotts, Jim Ritchie, and Reps. Annette Young, Harry Cato and Joan Brady near the top of the list. And like most people, we were wrong.
In fact, topping the list, was none other than Sanford/Prime’s arch-nemesis, Megatron. When asked why Megatron received the honor of being Sanford’s number one target, a spokesman said, “For years he and the Decepticons have worked to destroy Cybertron (South Carolina) and deplete its scarce energy storages for wasteful tire-barrel pet projects.” It was no surprise then that the second through fifth positions on Sanford’s list went to Shockwave, Scorponok, Lord Zarak and Thunderwing, all Decepticons.
But in a rather unexpected twist, the sixth spot on the list went to Bumper, an Autobot previously believed to be a Sanford ally.
“I just don’t like the guy,” said Sanford. “And I’m pretty sure he played a part in helping Megatron upgrade to Galvatron in the Unicron trilogy.
“Plus, he transforms into a freaking Mazda Familia; like we’re really going to miss that.”
The remainder of Sanford’s hit list was comprised of Insecticons, Predacons and various enemies of the Witwicky family. Sources close to Megatron told TPS that the Dark Lord was disappointed Sanford would be so childish as to actually create a list of opponents, but that he was not deterred in his quest to continue the Decepticon uprising.
[...] BPDNews.com – News Updates from the Boston Police Department wrote an interesting post today!.Here’s a quick excerpt [IMG Optimus Primeford] MEGATRON, DECEPTICONS TOP LIST CYBER CITY, CYBERTRON (TPS) – Less than a week after news broke that Gov. Mark “I’m not perfect” Sanford funneled $101,524 in taxpayer dollars to one of his many secretive “reform groups” which aim to take down rival members of the state legislature, The Palmetto Scoop has obtained exclusive access to the much-speculated “hit list”; which until now has never been revealed to the public. And we must admit, there are quite a few surprises o [...]
I hope Optimus wipes out Starscream once and for all. Kind of worried that he didn’t even make the list. That Decepticon’s whiny voice really irritates me. And worse, why did the new Transformers movie portray Megatron as a Starscream-styled fighter jet? Everybody knows Megatron was a handgun. Maybe the NRA needs some help to go beat up the Air Force. That’s what I think.
I am pleased to see you mention the Governor Sanford “nonprofit “ financing scheme. South Carolina is a one party state, and nothing will be done about this back door financing of people, candidates and causes, unless people such as you speak up.
At least FIVE nonprofits have been set up to wash large amounts of special interest out of state cash, completely unregulated by the state, an completely outside the mantra of Governor Sanford…which used to be accountability and transparency and now it seems to be “ grab and hide ”.
Our government will never improve as long as Governor Sanford and cronies are beholding to rich fat cats from Boston, Vegas and Miami. We can only regain our government if Sanford discloses ALL the records of these five scandal ridden nonprofits. Only disclosure will restore honor to Governor Sanford.
Thanks again for your mention. I hope you will write more on this matter.
this is one of the stupidist goddamned things i have ever read. i may not revisit your site.
Dick – You’ll be sorely missed.
That is a very special picture.
[...] I wrote a while back that The Palmetto Scoop had obtained the official hit list of Gov. Mark Sanford. In hindsight, I guess I should have realized our list was bad when it included Megatron, Shockwave, Scorponok, Lord Zarak, Thunderwing and a bunch of other Transformers. Regardless, the real list was released today by the Columbia Free Times and it has been “all the rage” throughout the South Carolina blogosphere. It’s no secret that Sanford and the General Assembly don’t get along and several legislators and political consultants believe the governor — by proxy through the group South Carolinians for Responsible Government (SCRG) — targeted several GOP legislators in the 2006 elections. But, no one could produce a list or a plan of action. This time, SCRG appears to have taken a back seat to S.C. Club for Growth in trying to remake the General Assembly in the governor’s image, or as it’s phrased in a secret proposal to the group, “reshuffling the legislative deck.” [...]