We’re not sure what a “Key to the City” does, if anything, but Columbia residents better watch out because comedian/America’s next president Stephen Colbert now has one. Mayor Bob Coble declared Sunday to be “Stephen Colbert Day” at a morning press conference on the University of South Carolina campus where he delivered Colbert, a Charleston native, the key to Columbia.

And while back in his native state, he certainly showed that he was ready to pander.

Colbert was honored to recieve the key to the city and says he “loves South Carolina, almost as much as South Carolina loves” him.

Colbert also says that if he is elected as President, he promises not only to crush the state of Georgia, but also Tennessee. His promised comes on the heels of Carolina’s 27-24 loss to the Volunteers.

His final words of wisdom Sunday morning made the crowd cheer. “Go Cocks!” [WLTX]

Here’s the raw video, courtesy of WLTX-TV:

[video]http://www.wltx.com/includes/buildasx_oas.aspx?fn=http://wm.wltx.gannett.edgestreams.net//news/october07/10282007_colbertkey2_wltx.wmv&sp=http://wm.wltx.gannett.edgestreams.net/ads/sales/lookslikerain.wmv[/video]

We’re personally pretty glad to see that Colbert now has the key to the city because whoever has had it for the last few years — the person who let the likes of former police officer Lenard Paige, Mark Sanford’sReform SC, the Commission on Columbia City Government Reform and Restructuring, the South Carolina Department of Health and Environmental Control, and certain members of the state legislature wander the streets of Columbia — has done a regrettable job. So here’s to hoping Colbert will not only win both South Carolina primaries, but that he’ll use his key to clean up Columbia.

____________

Photo: WLTX