It’s not exactly a secret that Democrats aren’t fond of America, but a leaked memo from House Democrats finally proves it.

It started last month, when an official with the House Committee on Homeland Security suggested that staff aides get immunizations before visiting health facilities at Alabama’s Talladega Superspeedway and North Carolina’s Lowe’s Motor Speedway, where the Bank of America 500 was run Saturday.

In an e-mail, a staffer who works for committee chairman Rep. Bennie Thompson, D-Miss., noted an “unusual need for whomever attending to be vaccinated against hepatitis A and B,” as well as “the more normal things — tetanus, diphtheria, and of course, seasonal influenza.” [MIKE BAKER - AP]

We haven’t studied philosophy in a while, but we’re pretty sure this means that Democrats hate America. The logic here is flawless.

A. Democrats hate NASCAR
B. NASCAR represents America
_______________________
:. Democrats hate America

We have to give the Democrats credit though for standing by their hatred of NASCAR and America. Most people who insult a base of passionate, drunken, gun-toting fans would run the other way. But not the Democrats… they only cut and run during foreign wars, not petty domestic squabbles.

And if they really want to take it to the next level, they need to find Michael Dukakis, put him in a tank and have him race around the “Pretty Paperclip” at Martinsville (pictured above, in front of the man with the awesome back hair) this weekend.

Although, any Democrat who endorses Thompson’s recommendation can basically kiss the South Carolina primary goodbye. With Lowes Motor Speedway in Charlotte and Darlington Raceway in Darlington drawing thousands of locals and millions of dollars each year to NASCAR events, it’s likely that a few people will be offended. Although, we doubt many Democrats actually watch NASCAR and if they do, they’re probably Robby Gordon fans or something.

The best thing about this story getting serious national “traction” is that the media get to use creative clichés like “it got the GOP’s engines revving” and “NASCAR Flap Raises Caution Flag for Dems” and “Democrat’s words get a red flag.” But the winner for the best headline goes to the blog “clusterflock” who wrote “NASCAR Fans Need Shots: Most Prefer Bourbon or Sour Mash.”

The Dem flub has even given rise to a new word:

Fed•neck \ˈfed-ˌnek\ (noun):
Democrat government official who believes NASCAR fans are filthy, disease-carrying Republican hicks

Someone should really tell Democrats to just relax because, after all, life is a highway.

This entry was posted on Monday, October 15th, 2007 at 11:11 am and is filed under Democrats. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.