SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT VOWS TO FIGHT TERRORIST THREATS TO IMAGINARY PORTS

We knew the Bush Administration was undertaking an overhaul of the Attorney General’s office, but they may want to take a second look at the Department of Homeland Security. Apparently, DHS made the wise decision to give Beaufort County $55,785 in grant money for port security. The problem is, the county doesn’t have any viable ports.

This is the first time the county has received grant money from the federal department’s port security grant pool.

“We were very surprised,” [Beaufort County Sheriff's Office Lt. Col. Neil] Baxley said of the county’s award.

The S.C. State Ports Authority still has one long-term contract customer that can use the Port of Port Royal, authority spokesman Byron Miller said, though Gov. Mark Sanford signed legislation to close and sell the money-bleeding port in 2004. The authority is trying to relocate the customer and sell the land to developers. [JEREMY HSIEH, Beaufort Gazette]

Something smells, umm, “fishy.” Fear not though, the good folks of the Beaufort County Sheriff’s Department will make sure the money is well-spent.

While there’s no immediate need for counter-terrorism boats in the county, Baxley said, the Department of Homeland Security made the grant “with an eye to prepare for terrorism. … And we’re fortunate to use them in general enforcement.” [JEREMY HSIEH, Beaufort Gazette]

Well we can all rest easy at night knowing that the ever-vigilant Beaufort County Sheriff’s Department is keeping the non-existent ports of Beaufort County safe from terrorist attacks.